Notes To Myself
Spiritual Essays, Observations and Reminders
This is a sequel to my last metaphysical ramble video. I had some new insights about the NOW and thought I would share. DO NOT watch this video unless you watch the previous video. It’ll mess you up forever and I don’t want to be responsible for that. You’ve been warned, dude.
If you find this in any way interesting check out my podcast, Apocaleptic. It isn’t really like this but you still might enjoy it.
If you love, crazy, incoherent ramblings, man, this video is for you!
It’s 7am. I’m having coffee. I’ve been pondering these ideas about the past and future, the NOW and the nature of existence and experience. It’s stuff I’ve been thinking about and I wanted to make a recording of it and I’m putting it here. All filmed at an extremely unflattering angle. I’m not sure if it will make sense to anyone but me.
Let me know.
In the Silence of Being, our true nature is revealed. That Silence is the substance of all appearances; all that can be seen, heard, felt and perceived. In that Silence contains no labels, descriptions or concepts and in it, you are not the names you call yourself or the thoughts you think about yourself. Like the Silence itself, you are boundless, limitless, ageless, timeless.
To celebrate a solitary birth at Christmas time is to completely miss the point. The Christmas season points more to discovery than birth. That which we discover may seem to be born within us but, in reality, its nature is eternal. It has never been born and can never die. It has always been with us, indeed, always been us. We cannot be separated from it because it is the substance of our very being. This is the true message of Christmas.
At this Christmas season, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the reminder that peace is not something we must wait for, Peace is who we are right now, The greatest gift we can give others is the realization this is the truth about them as well. Over and over, the symbols of Christmas point to the joy of discovering our true nature of Peace. May each of us fully awaken to this truth.
I often think of the futility of describing spirituality or reality.
Obviously I attempt to do that very thing here on this blog but my intention here is largely to address topics to my own self. Topics I am considering, working out, meditating on or ideas that have come to me in “Aha!” moments which I want to return to and examine again at another time.
Still, I understand how ineffective it is. I often say trying to analyze or describe reality is like a dog trying to understand and describe what it is I do when I leave the house for work. My dog has no concept of what happens during the day at my job and the only way she can possibly understand it will be fragmented. Any attempt at trying to understand what I do when I leave the house, can only be within what her mind is capable of knowing. Perhaps she thinks I leave to go play at a dog park all day or lay around and sleep on a larger couch. And while these are jobs I would love to have, she can’t know the actual reality of what I do because she can only “think” as a dog.
Every spiritual lecture or teaching is fragmented the same way because we only have the capacity to understand within the limits of our human mind and human understanding. Notice that almost all attempts at communicating reality by humans, depends upon humans being at the center of that reality. You never hear of a lecture on reality from the viewpoint of a tree. As humans we can never know reality from the viewpoint of a tree, yet trees are as essential to the experience of reality as humans are.
Even within our human community, each person is only able to understand reality from their own limited experience. How a person with no hearing understands the reality of music is very different from that of a person who hears. Someone with no sight would never be able to explain to someone with sight the magnified capabilities of touch and feel one has when not seeing with eyes. Our ability to understand reality is also impossibly limited to the language we speak or the society in which we were raised and influenced. Someone who grew up in India will almost certainly have a different understanding of consciousness than someone who grew up in East Tennessee, United States.
To think any of our descriptions and understandings of reality and spirituality are whole and complete is misguided. While I don’t think I want to go so far as say communicating our understanding of reality is a waste of time, I will say any attempt at doing so should be understood to be as flawed as it is. Every attempt is an inaccurate and incomplete one. Human beings can only ever understand a finite idea of infinite reality.
For me, I prefer to experience reality without words or thoughts and with the understanding that I have no complete idea of what is happening. To get to a point where I think I know or understand is to be at a dangerous point. Best to reside in a cloud of unknowing.
Illusions of the world always draw more attention than Truth in the world. That is human nature. Truth is eternal, still, never changing. Illusion is movement, drama, change. We are continually drawn to focus on our mind, the source of illusion. Even when we realize we are the peaceful stillness known as Truth, it can be difficult not to become hypnotized by the illusionary content of mind. It’s why we look at the movie not the screen. We listen to the notes, not the rests. We marvel at the stars and planets, not the space.
When a rich man asked Jesus how he could be saved, Jesus told him to give his possessions away. Get rid of the objects. In other words, he would still have the Truth of wealth, he just had to be willing to not be caught up in the illusions of wealth. Money burns. Coins melt. Possessions can be lost or stolen. True wealth can never be taken away but few of us consider True wealth very valuable.
When we are preoccupied by the activity of our mind, we lose who we really are and, in that, we are operating under a kind of hypnosis. We’re in a dreamlike, pretend world where we believe the cartoon actors, props and sets are real. We imagine ourselves to be one of them and forget we are not that but we are so much more. Meditation can often help us focus our attention onto Truth and away from the illusion. Still, it can be a daily practice to not get caught up in the wonderful, delicious, exciting mind stuff.
Today I am pondering “Random Renaissance Person.” You can ponder with me.
Let me first explain that Random Renaissance Person is just that: any random person who lived during the Renaissance period (almost any other period will also work, too, if you happen to have some aversion to pondering people from the Renaissance). Simply imagine a single person who could have lived during that time period. Make the person as average as possible – no kings or queens or dignitaries. Just your average Renaissance villager person.
It’s best not to give Random Renaissance Person a name – we don’t want to get too close to them – but you can imagine things like their work and family situation. Go ahead and imagine all of the events in Random Renaissance Person’s life: being born, interacting with family, working in the garden, being educated, attending religious ceremonies, hanging out with friends, having a first kiss, playing sports, etc. Most people didn’t have a very long lifespan during that time so maybe Random Renaissance Person was stricken with disease or experienced complications in childbirth or was injured in battle. Feel free to design their story.
Of course, there were no photographers at this time, so we can never know what Random Renaissance Person looked like. It’s doubtful they had their portrait painted or if one would have even survived to now. There is a very good chance that nothing at all exists to document that Random Renaissance Person ever even lived. But we know they did and we know that millions just like them have lived all over the Earth since the beginning of time.
We can imagine Random Renaissance Person, lived a full life just like you and I. Every moment of their life consisted of experiencing life events the same way you and I do. Some of those events were minor incidents. Many were major milestones. But to Random Renaissance Person, all were the content of their life and whether they were experiencing seasonal sniffles or adopting a dog or watching a parent die, these were the things that Random Renaissance Person called their life. The struggles and triumphs that shaped who they knew themselves to be. Again, just like you and I.
Now fast forward to the contemporary time you and I are currently living. Look around your household or work environment or just your life in general. In what way is your life affected by the life of Random Renaissance Person? Can you find one single thing anywhere in your surroundings that would have been impacted by the existence of Random Renaissance Person?
Consider that all of those monumental life events that meant everything to Random Renaissance Person are now completely gone. Literally, as if they never happened. The events that kept Random Renaissance Person awake at night with anxiety or that they anticipated with excitement for weeks are now nowhere to be found. In fact, our good friend Random Renaissance Person also has no existence, nor is there proof they ever did. We can imagine Random Renaissance Person may have had children, who had children, who had children, whose descendants may have somehow affected us. Quite possible. But when we look only at the personal life of Random Renaissance Person, it makes little difference to our world whether they lived or not.
It’s fascinating. An entire life rendered completely useless by time and distance. It’s easy to convince ourselves this is bound to happen to people who lived so long ago but have you ever found yourself wandering in an antique shop and found a stack of photos of random, unknown people? People and families from the 1950s, ‘60s, ‘70s, sometimes doing seemingly important things – graduating, marrying, opening Christmas presents, enjoying dinners – now completely unknown, unidentified and unimportant.
Of course, this will never happen to you or I, our lives are way too important and we’ve participated in far too many memorable life events for those things to just disappear. Our thoughts, opinions and beliefs are not only vital to us but also of great significance to humanity. Not to mention, we have many friends and family members who will remember us and all of the important things in our lives for eternity. We’ll never be forgotten like those other people. Right?
The world of form is not as significant as we try to convince ourselves it is. It never has been. It doesn’t have any permanence to it. We try to hang on to this identity in our changing, disposable bodies and pretend we are as important as we believe we are. One day these bodies and all we consider important will fade away faster than a stream of smoke, just like the life of Random Renaissance Person did. What’s left when it’s all gone? Does everything just dissolve and go back to the Earth or can it be that there is actually some sort of permanence behind appearances? Something that remains when all appearances change and pass away? Does it make sense to actually “be” at one point in this life and then “not be” at another point? Is “being” so disposable and finite?