You May Be Right. I May Be Crazy.
When I was in high school, I idolized the kind of NY, Italian, street gang-guy I saw in celebs like Billy Joel and Stallone. I really wanted to be in a street gang, which, if you know me, you know how completely asinine even the thought of that is. But I didn’t want to be in a real street gang, I wanted to be in more of a movie street gang.
Dork, Meet Woman
I don't know how to talk to women. Seriously, I'm 51 years old and still have no clue. Yesterday I was downtown, wearing a nice kilt (Royal Stewart tartan) and I was walking my new puppy. I was on the sidewalk and I noticed an attractive woman passing behind me. She...
Bloody Hell! (A true story)
Yesterday when I came home from the studio I noticed drops of blood on my front porch. I immediately joked "Oh, look! A killer came to visit!" Then I thought of my pets inside the house. What if the house was broken into and my cats and dog were harmed? I opened the...
Why I Cannot Wear A Dress
Late August of 1972 my entire family was brutally tortured, then slaughtered by a teal and beige casual sport dress. It was a thigh-length, sleeveless with round neckline and princess seams on the front and reverse. Authorities said the dress buttoned all the way down...
I Love You, You Freak.
There is a scene in the movie Untamed Heart where Christian Slater’s character “Adam” tells Marisa Tomei’s “Caroline” that, for some time now, he has been sneaking into her bedroom and watching her sleep. Contemplate for a second the wild-haired, socially-retarded...